Getting dodgy with dollars

My mom loves the Dollar Tree. It's a little store not far from her home in rural Alabama. Everything is a buck, and she can have fun shopping on just a little money. I have been the recipient of many silly, often tacky, gifts from said store, all of which were appreciated because they were purchased with love by someone for whom every dollar counts.

Last week Mom told me there's now a sign at the Dollar Tree that says they won't take dollar bills. Say what?! How can you not take a dollar when it's in the name of your store? Isn't that false advertising? That would be like if Pizza Hut stopped selling pizzas. It just seems wrong.

Apparently the reason for the ban on bucks is that someone has been passing counterfeit dollar bills at the store. So that means some criminal mastermind decided to not only go to the time and effort to make fake one dollar bills instead of tens or twenties, but he or she also decided the place to spend them that would be worth risking prison was the Dollar Tree. Because stale cookies, out-of-date toiletries, fuzzy dice and various other things not worth more than a buck anyway are worth risking a few months eating cheap hot dogs and dreading shower time in county jail while you await trial. And he or she will spend the time in jail, 'cause you can't post bail with $10,000 in fake dollar bills.