Want a crash course in what makes the UK tick?

If you're an American arriving in the UK to visit or live, you'll immediately get an exciting sense of being in a foreign country, while at the same time experiencing a comforting feeling of familiarity because things here aren't all that foreign to us Yanks -- especially to fans of British music, TV, movies or books.

However, differences mount once you get beyond the first glance, and a brief bit of background on the history, slang and pop culture can go a long way to making sense of things. That background helps even if you've no plans to board a plane, but are simply intrigued by all things British.

I just finished a new book that serves up that background in a brief, contemporary, fun-to-read form that's perfect for Americans with little knowledge of the UK, and even old pros will find useful or enlightening information in its pages.

"Britannia in Brief: The Scoop on All Things British" by husband-and-wife team Leslie Banker (a Yank) and William Mullins (a Brit) serves as both history lesson and guide to life in the United Kingdom (they also write a witty blog of the same name). It could also help fans of Britcoms or Brit cinema decipher some of the slang, attitudes or comments they encounter (any U.S. fans of the Stereophonics wonder what the hell the song "Bank Holiday Monday" refers to? Check out Page 186 of this book -- just keep in mind that the lyrics of the song aren't an example of everyone's typical activities on these holidays.)

I spent about a month in the UK on vacations years before I moved here, and also learned a bit about it by way of British friends and boyfriends. Now I've lived here more than two years, so I'm not exactly a newbie to the information in this book. However, it still manages to offer several things I didn't know and give greater detail to things I knew of only in passing.

For instance, I live in one of the Home Counties of Berkshire. I just assumed all counties were called Home Counties and never thought more of it. Turns out that moniker only covers six counties that are immediately around London. Who knew? Well, OK, most English people probably knew that, but I sure didn't. Chapter 3 gives a good explanation of the leanings and types of newspapers, which is quite interesting to newcomers. I knew which ones were total scandal rags, but I didn't quite understand the different political leanings of the "highbrow" papers and what it said to the natives if they see you reading a given newspaper. This book breaks it all down, and keeps the explanations short and sweet.

I thought I'd just glance through a few pages of this book and relay a couple of facts, but I ended up reading the whole thing and found it a breezy, interesting read. You could finish its 238 pages on the plane ride across the pond and still have time to take snaps of the wing surrounded by clouds and catch some movie you'd normally never watch.

Keep in mind this book lives up to its title -- the information is "in brief." If you're a big history buff or like the full story behind a given situation or incident, this book won't fully sate your curiosity -- but it might just whet your appetite and tip you off to items you'd like to research more fully elsewhere. I really enjoyed the brief entries and getting a little knowledge on a wide range of topics here.

Tempted to read it? Then check back here in the next few days, when I'll post a contest to give away a copy of this book, thanks to the authors who sent one for me and one to share with my readers.

Descent into barbarism in Berkshire

The so-called heat (it was 78F -- that's a heatwave to the Brits) may be why everyone seemed a bit crazy today. My misadventures in how a very little heat can rattle people not used to it began with two guys blocking the door at the post office. One hands over a wad of cash, while the other promises to pay it back soon and pleads with the first man not to lose his passport, as then he won't be able "to get nothin' cashed". The first guy, gripping a huge can of Stella (at a quarter past three in the afternoon), brushes him off with assurances. Now, why would you give someone your passport anyway? "It's better not to know" my husband replied ominously when I told him of the encounter. I'd guess it was some type of loan/collateral situation.

Then my hip-and-happening day took me to Poundland for a microwave egg poacher and a copy of Tommy on DVD for a quid each. While waiting in line, I was treated to "Drunk old dude in Poundland" theater. A little old man in a suit was shouting loudly to the woman checking out at the register next to him: "Do you want me to say it nicely or do you want me to say it rudely?!!!" She went on about how he cut in front of her, and he can't do that just because he'd had a drink, she wasn't going to let him get away with that. He repeated his question a few more times before yelling "F*** off!" a couple of times and teetering out the door.

I'd had enough drama at Poundland, so I toddled off to Boots. On the way there, I heard a woman talking about how "it was like stepping into an oven." I guess she meant the "heatwave." She better never go to Alabama, not even in the winter, if 78 with a cool wind is a heatwave. It's amazing how by the time temps are in the 60s, people pull out the shorts and flip-flops.

A few people were red-faced and pouring sweat from the "heat," and I'll skip my other minor misadventures for now. Let's just say I finished up at the grocery store, bought some wine, and headed for home, far from the madding crowd. Ahh, it's good to be home. When I told all the news to my hubby, he said "Descent into barbarism in Berkshire." Now how can I not post about it when I have a title like that hanging around, eh?

Busking on Broad Street

Sunday on Broad Street some men dressed as American Indians were busking their hearts out to sell CDs of traditional music (I guess that's what it was supposed to be). These were some of the best faux-performers I've seen out there -- they went whole-hog, dressed in buckskins and feathers with one doing a dance and the other pretending to play some type of wood-flute. Note the woven basket at the dancer's feet -- they were collecting tips, too.

What they and others like them do is set up the instruments and even microphones and pretend to play the music that is blasting over the speakers -- music that is actually emanating from one of the CDs they are selling. I've seen groups do this with steel drums too, and as I came up I really thought they were playing at first.

The most pathetic attempt at this "faux performance" busking I've seen was a guy standing there singing along with Elton John songs. You could clearly hear him over the microphone, merging his non-show-stopping voice with Sir Elton's. I'm not sure he was even selling CDs, he may have just been collecting tips. Not many, though.

My post office has got it going on

My local post office recently remodeled and changed it's whole set-up. I don't know if all UK post offices follow this new model, but it's such a great idea that I hope U.S. post offices follow suit.

There are counters with staff along two walls, and fairly hip red, sectioned oval couches with seating all the way around in the center of the room. And here's the best bit: You can take a number from a little ACM-looking machine and SIT DOWN TO WAIT. Woo hoo, what a fabulous idea! What's more, there is always a Royal Mail employee standing near the ticket machine offering assistance and directing customers to where they need to go for various transactions/needs. It's so simple, yet so helpful.

I think the whole "take a number and sit down" idea is particularly great. It's especially helpful to anyone with mobility issues, the elderly, a parent trying to comfort or wrangle little ones, women in ill-advised heels that are killing them, someone fighting an illness and just trying to get through the day, someone carrying heavy packages, or any number of other scenarios where it would be a godsend to sit down as you wait your turn.

This is truly an example of where a business in England is providing a wonderful example of showing that it cares about good customer service. And believe me, you don't find that often enough.

Are you f****** kidding me?!!!

According to this article, the anti-bacterial hand gels located at many sites around the Royal Berkshire Hospital (the gels that aren't attached to the walls) will be removed amidst fears that youths will drink them because they are alcohol based. Um, even if none-too-bright youngsters wanted to try and get drunk off this stuff, would they really sneak around the hospital to steal some? Or just buy (or steal) it from any grocery store or drugstore? And is that really a big risk of happening, anyway?

It was already unimpressive enough that the gels are placed throughout the hospital with signs urging you to use them to keep down spread of virus (which makes you wonder how clean hospitals are kept here -- they don't have the antiseptic smell of U.S. hospitals), but now they are taking them away for such an unlikely reason? Not very confidence- inspiring.

Crunching onward ...

Guardian columnist Charlie Brooker weighed in on the Great Crisp Controversy.

Crazy chip update

So far, I've tried three of the new potato chip flavors on trial with Walkers, and they're all "meh."

One was more "bleech," actually. On the Fish & Chips flavor, my husband said: "Eeeww, I don't go for that. Get me some turpentine to wash that taste out!" He later said: "They taste like they were fried in Long John Silver's old oil." Not a glowing recommendation at all.

I actually thought it was OK after eating one chip. Taking a bite reminded me of Violet in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She was the one who ate the gum that gradually tasted like all the parts of a meal (before she got to the dessert part and turned into a human blueberry). The chip didn't make me feel like a piece of fruit, but there was an odd sensation of tasting first the chips (fries) and then after a slight delay, the fish. After my husband tried one and nearly gagged, though, it put me right off these chips, lol.

We also tried the Builder's Breakfast flavor, and it was good. You really could taste eggs and bacon. But this wasn't significantly different than the current Smoky Bacon flavor, so I won't be voting for this chip, either.

Lastly, we tried the Onion Bhaji flavor. It really did taste like onion bhaji. Which I'm not super fond of. So this one was OK, but didn't earn my vote. Stay tuned, you crazy crisp fans!